The Surprise by Ingeborg Bachmann

The Surprise by Ingeborg Bachmann

As there I left the road in May,
And took my way along a ground,
I found a glade with girls at play,
By leafy boughs close-hemmed around,
And there, with stores of harmless joys,
They plied their tongues, in merry noise:
Though little did they seem to fear
So queer a stranger might be near;
Teeh-hee! Look here! Hah! ha! Look there!
And oh! so playsome, oh! so fair.

And one would dance as one would spring,
Or bob or bow with leering smiles,
And one would swing, or sit and sing,
Or sew a stitch or two at whiles,
And one skipped on with downcast face,
All heedless, to my very place,
And there, in fright, with one foot out,
Made one dead step and turned about.
Heeh, hee, oh! oh! ooh! oo!—Look there!
And oh! so playsome, oh! so fair.

Away they scampered all, full speed,
By boughs that swung along their track,
As rabbits out of wood at feed,
At sight of men all scamper back.
And one pulled on behind her heel,
A thread of cotton, off her reel,
And oh! to follow that white clue,
I felt I fain could scamper too.
Teeh, hee, run here. Eeh! ee! Look there!
And oh! so playsome, oh! so fair.

Hermann Hesse

There is, so I believe, in the essence of everything, something that we cannot call learning. There is, my friend, only a knowledge - that is everywhere.
Hermann Hesse

about certain things

I am worried about my daughter, who for reasons I will disclose of later, does not

currently keep regular contact with me.

 

I am so worried about her.

 

Is there a reason, she is so quiet.

She never fights me on anything anymore.

She is never rude or upset or just irritated with me.

She never complains, she never goes against anything I say.

 

She rarely blogs.

She has not been on the poetry site for more than 6 weeks. 

She rarely ever really really reply to my mails.

 

Should I be concerned?

 

I am ....

 

 

For my Friend Tash

What you loved and what you strove for,
What you dreamed and what you lived through,
Do you know if it was joy or suffering?
G sharp and A flat, E flat or D sharp,
Are they distinguishable to the ear?

 

 

I miss you too! Thank you for missing me !

Without You

My Pillow gazes upon me at night Empty as a gravestone; I never thought it would be so bitter To be alone, Not to lie down asleep in your hair. I lie alone in a silent house, The hanging lamp darkened, And gently stretch out my hands To gather in yours, And softly press my warm mouth Toward you, and kiss myself, exhausted and weak- Then suddenly I'm awake And all around me the cold night grows still. The star in the window shines clearly- Where is your blond hair, Where your sweet mouth? Now I drink pain in every delight And poison in every wine; I never knew it would be so bitter To be alone, Alone, without you.   *Hermann Hesse*

I Know, You Walk

I Know, You Walk-- by Hermann Hesse

I walk so often, late, along the streets,
Lower my gaze, and hurry, full of dread,
Suddenly, silently, you still might rise
And I would have to gaze on all your grief
With my own eyes,
While you demand your happiness, that's dead.
I know, you walk beyond me, every night,
With a coy footfall, in a wretched dress
And walk for money, looking miserable!
Your shoes gather God knows what ugly mess,
The wind plays in your hair with lewd delight---
You walk, and walk, and find no home at all.

Daddys Girl - For Felix

When the sun goes down and it's getting late
You say it's time for bed
She just takes her time
Acting like she never heard a word you said
Little baby wanna hold you tight
She don't ever wanna say good night
She's a lover, she wanna be Daddy's Girl
When the morning comes
And it's time to go start another day
She won't let you leave, and she does her best
To try to make you stay
Pretty baby gonna start to cry
She don't ever wanna say good bye
She's a lover, she wanna be Daddy's Girl

She don't ever wanna be without you
Never have to worry she won't doubt you
Then she puts her head upon your shoulder
Says she marry you when she get older

When the time has come, and she's old enough
To be on her own
She won't understand why you're feelin' sad
Cause she's leaving you all alone
Little woman gonna make you cry
You don't ever wanna say good bye
She's a lady, she'll always be Daddy's Girl

Little woman gonna break your heart
Gonna miss her when you're both apart
She's a lady, but she'll always be Daddy's Girl

She'll always be Daddy's Girl
She'll always be Daddy's Girl

 

I am posting this because you make me feel like the perfect father. You make me want to be better than I have ever been.

I am doing this healing for you, because I want you back, I want you to be daddy's girl again.

I want You back, I want my friend Tash back.

 

Will you please be Daddy's girl someday soon?

Will you wait ?

Another one playing now...

In Another's Eyes - Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks

In another's eyes, I'm someone who
Loves her enough to walk away from you
I'd never cheat and I would never lie
In another's eyes, yeah

In another's eyes, I can do no wrong
He believes in me and his faith is strong
I'd never fall or even compromise
In another's eyes, mmm

In another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture-perfect portrait
That they paint of me
They don't realize
And I pray they never do
'Cause, ev'ry time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes

Oh, in another's eyes starin' back at me
I see a sinkin' soul tryin' desp'rately
To turn the tide before it dies
In another's eyes, yeah

And what they don't see
Lord, it's killing me
It's a blessing and a curse
That love is blind

'Cause, in another's eyes
I'm afraid that I can't see
This picture-perfect portrait
That they paint of me
They don't realize
And I pray to God they never do
'Cause, ev'ry time I look
I'm seein' you
In another's eyes

In another's eyes
In another's eyes

Playing on the Radio now:

I'm not much of a country - song lover but this is nice.

 

 

Trying to love you -  Trisha Yearwood

 

 

I blew out all my plans
The world fell in my hands
The day that I began
Trying to love you

The secrets I have kept
The nights I haven't slept
I've laughed until I've wept
Trying to love you

Trying to love you...No one's come as close or gone so far
Trying to love you...I've lost and found myself in who you are
Trying to love you...So easy and so hard, trying to love you

I've watched myself get stuck
Squandered all my luck
Almost given up
Trying to love you

Trying to love you...It broke my heart, it's chipped away my pride
Trying to love you...Everytime I'd see that faultline slide
Trying to love you...I've crossed the great divide trying to love you

Trying to love you...I've screamed your name, I've slammed a thousand doors
Trying to love you...I've worn a million miles across the floor
Trying to love you...Still I could not ignore trying to love you

It's pulled the best from me
For all the world to see
I guess I'll always be
Trying to love you

about this

I feel so alive.

Funny thing is, I am so confused most of the time, I should not feel this good.

 

But I do, one of these days I will be well enough to go meet my child again. And be a friend, a friend would like to have, for mein freund, T.

 

I am blogging random things today, I should sit down and write a proper blog entry. I dont like sitting on the train, it makes my thoughts go wild.

 

I wish you all a happy very very productive day.

 

 

I used to

 I used to blog, a while ago, but then I stopped because it hurt people I love.

 

Now

 

I decided to blog again, to try to get these emotions out.

 

Good luck to me.

 

 

Thinking of a friend at night - Herman Hesse

Thinking Of A Friend At Night

In this evil year, autumn comes early... I walk by night in the field, alone, the rain clatters, The wind on my hat...And you? And you, my friend? You are standing--maybe--and seeing the sickle moon Move in a small arc over the forests And bivouac fire, red in the black valley. You are lying--maybe--in a straw field and sleeping And dew falls cold on your forehead and battle jacket. It's possible tonight you're on horseback, The farthest outpost, peering along, with a gun in your fist, Smiling, whispering, to your exhausted horse. Maybe--I keep imagining--you are spending the night As a guest in a strange castle with a park And writing a letter by candlelight, and tapping On the piano keys by the window, Groping for a sound... --And maybe You are already silent, already dead, and the day Will shine no longer into your beloved Serious eyes, and your beloved brown hand hangs wilted, And your white forehead split open--Oh, if only, If only, just once, that last day, I had shown you, told you Something of my love, that was too timid to speak! But you know me, you know...and, smiling, you nod Tonight in front of your strange castle, And you nod to your horse in the drenched forest, And you nod to your sleep to your harsh clutter of straw, And think about me, and smile. And maybe, Maybe some day you will come back from the war, and take a walk with me some evening, And somebody will talk about Longwy, Luttich, Dammerkirch, And smile gravely, and everything will be as before, And no one will speak a word of his worry, Of his worry and tenderness by night in the field, Of his love. And with a single joke You will frighten away the worry, the war, the uneasy nights, The summer lightning of shy human friendship, Into the cool past that will never come back.

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